Finding Love In Your SM/Networking Circles

Social Media Love

At the last NGage networking event (@NGageDC), I had an in depth conversation about relationships with my cousin, Rahiem (@SwannrMonavie). I pretty much take to heart what him and his wife, Charlotte (@charswann) say since they are one of the very FEW black married couples that I know. And not just the fact that they are married, but have been married for several years.

Cousin Rahiem told me that the social media and networking events that we attend are great places to find that special someone. At first I looked at him crazy because its usually church that’s the “hot spot”, but now that I had time to ponder on our conversation, I think that Cousin Rahiem may be right.

I must admit that there are some interesting males in my social media/networking circles– all colors of rainbow. I absolutely love the side conversations with my female SM friends about who’s attractive and who they love engaging in conversations with the most. . So, I’m thinking, why not give love a try if it happens to present itself? Maybe I’m trying to convince myself that this could possibly work. Who knows. I’m random. So, here are my thoughts:

1) Your SM circle establishes the first step: FRIENDSHIP
Let’s face it. Many individuals nowadays skip this important step and dive straight into the romance. After a few salty relationships and time to reflect on them, I realized that my male counterparts and I never established a true friendship. I mean don’t you want your companion to not only be your lover but your FRIEND as well? No point in participating in heavy petting and you don’t even trust that person with your dreams, opinions and secrets, right!?

In your SM circle the step to friendship is almost inevitable. You begin to see these people all the time and eventually begin hanging out with one or more outside of the typical social networking/happy hour events.

(still snickering because I said heavy petting)

2) Oh! You can check a few boxes off on your Wish List
Let’s say on your list of criteria he/she must be intellectual and can hold a conversation. Well, you are basically forced to engage in conversing with the people that you meet at social networking events and within your SM Circle. Of course talking through Twitter or Facebook is a great way to start conversations about your interests, but nothing truly creates an impression like face-to-face interaction. Either way, you’ll eventually get a good sense on how a person can hold a conversation, their opinions, educational background and the type of work they do.

Pretty much everyone that I have met fits the shoe on this. I have encountered a few socially awkward individuals, but those are in rare cases. I have a thing for “nerd swagger” so really smart guys that are still down-to-earth are a major turn on for me and you can definitely find them in your networking circles.

Now, let’s say you rather date someone who is just an occasional drinker. You will definitely get the chance to observe who falls in love with the bar, can’t hold their liquor, or proves that they don’t always need to drink in order to have fun.  Man, have I seen some people let the Grey Goose get them LOOSE during social/networking events! Haha.

3) In Case You Missed It: Mutual friends and associates will fill you in.

Okay, you have been eyeballing this particular person that you see all the time at the events you go to. You both share the same group of friends, but never had that opportunity to speak one on one during an event. Well, everyday I learn that this is a VERY small world and you’d be surprise who knows who. Most likely the people in your networking circle(s) know a little more about the person that you’re interested in. I’ve done it before and asked mutual friends in my circle(s) about a particular person because they hung out with them more than I have. I’m not saying this always works, but it’s worth a shot.

However, if you go this route on playing “investigative reporter,” be careful because there’s a possibility that you’ll have people all in your business. I don’t care if its finding love or friendship, keep things professional and classy. Everybody doesn’t need to know whom you are here to really see as soon as you walk through the doors of your next event.

Okay, did I convince myself? Maybe. But it seems a lot more comfortable to deal with people you talk to quite a bit then have some random stranger approach you at Starbucks while you’re reading the paper.  My initial point is that the foundation with these people that you socially network with has already been established. You feel comfortable with them, enjoy their company, and find you have a few things in common outside of Twitter and Facebook.

So you never know, love could blossom.

-Ms. Parker
My Motto: People Helping People.